I am about five and live with Nan-next-door during the week. My bedtime routine never varies: get changed for bed, come downstairs for a nightly lettuce sandwich, watch Grampy cleaning the shoes (daily routine inculcated by the army) and take as long as possible saying goodnight.
I hate going to bed - I suffer from insomnia, loneliness and the dark. Also the longer I can stay up the more opportunity there is for the family to admire the new nighttime attire I got for Christmas. This consists of a dressing gown in a soft, pale blue quilted fabric decorated with images of frolicking bunnies. It has a peter-pan collar and rabbit-shaped buttons. Accessorised with a pair of fluffy bunny slippers it is both warm and whimsical - what more could a girl ask for? I spend a lot of time swishing around in said outfit, smoothing it down and fiddling with the buttons. The family responds satisfactorily with 'Don't you look sweet', 'Who's our little bunny' and other such nonsense - I adore it.
Sadly after a few months I am the only person who is still in love with my 'bunny-girl' outfit and I miss their nocturnal attention. But all is not lost - thanks to an idea gleaned from
'Tom and Jerry'.
I am put to bed; five minutes later I hop up, put on the slippers and gown and head downstairs. Pushing open the sitting room door I enter with half-closed eyes (don't want to risk falling) and stick my arms out in front of me (sleepwalking
à la Jerry - before he wakes up and beats Tom to a pulp). The response from my captive audience is gratifying - although I don't like the way my uncle sniggers every time I get near him. To give more of a show I head into the kitchen; but have to beat a hasty retreat as the lights are off and it is scary. This results in me being 'woken up' gently and spending an extra half-hour downstairs. A good strategy I decide that becomes a nightly occurrence until Nan takes my beloved dressing gown and slippers out of the room at night.
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